Elvis of the Yukon Maybe

I am skeptical of dead people
the obits are almost certainly filled
with re-runs. I’ve seen those mugs
a dozen times, I’m sure of it.

Notice how fast they got that Andy Griffith in the ground?
Buried the same day he died.
Makes you wonder if it isn’t all a scam
to fool the paparazzi.

Very few of the people I know have died
which is odd since so many drank heavily
or did a lot of drugs. Like me.
And I’m not dead yet, either.

Maybe no one is really dead.
Maybe they’re just gone to Canada.
Not where they club the baby seals, though;
that would be hard to take for eternity.

—-Don Whittington




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