for I am so loved

for I am so loved
I am embarrassed by the richness of it,
and yet to do the things I’m driven to
I have to be alone—
so every single day
I trick myself into believing
I am cool with this,
that it is okay to let so many people love me
when I know that I’m not worth it—
I break into myself
and sitting alone I write
a thing like this—
trying to distill my own attar
I brew instead
some solipsistic stench
that denies all fragrance
but my own—
I am so well loved
but I do not love well
or, not as you would like;
it is simple, really,
and a little sad:
I believe that to create
you have to be a kind of monster—
forgive me
for I am cool with that.

—Don Whittington

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4 thoughts on “for I am so loved

  1. Don, I can’t click “like.” Where is the “boy, do I understand that” button? This is, as always, well written and deeply insightful (maybe “incitefull” as well. (Yes, stupid spell check, I know that’s not a word but it does what it’s supposed to, so there.” ) Keep’m coming. Oh, and Austin International Poetry Festival next year will be April 18-21. (hint, hint)

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