i never tell anyone

i never tell anyone
what i really want
nor should you
people only think they want to know
but if you really told them
it would freak them out—
it would freak them out
because it would never be something
they could understand someone wanting—
that’s what makes it so cool, really
each of us, if you strip away all facade
if you get to the real nut of us deep inside
wants something no other human wants
that’s the truly amazing thing
it is always something beyond comprehension
something no rational person would even consider
like bloomberg controlling the size of your soda pop—
and that’s his public wish, imagine
the sick crap his devious little
deviant mind conceals, just imagine—
it would absolutely freak you out—
ask your grandpa who fought in dubya dubya too
if that was what he fought and almost died for
so someday some rich guy in new york city
could control the size of your soft drink
and he’ll say hell no, he never wanted that—
ask him what he does want
he’s old and about to die, maybe he’ll tell
maybe he’ll lean over, grin wickedly, and say
you really want to know
my dearest secret dream?
yes, grandpa, tell me, tell me
ok here it is
i wish that i could train a snake
to sing legs by zz top
i am so freaked out

—Don Whittington


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