Uri Geller Predicts for 2013 Using A 5/7/5 Haiku Headline Form He Received From Beyond

I
Christopher Hitchens
pees in athiest heaven
for blissful relief

II
Lovecraft’s cat sells a
retromingently befouled
Necronomicon

III
Queen Elizabeth
passes old, stale chardonnay
to no one’s surprise

IV
Golden shower fan
Limbaugh thinks sterility
makes wizz good to drink

V
Future space programs
will fund from incontinence
research by Depends

VI
Mitt Romney will meet
Justin Bieber on a bus
and will wet himself

—Don Whittington

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