Christmas List

A working phaser
A working time machine
Ann Margaret, circa Cincinnatti Kid
Barbara Eden, circa I Dream of Jeannie
Elizabeth Montgomery, circa Bewitched
Mary Tyler Moore, circa the Dick Van Dyke Show
Donna Douglas, circa the Beverly Hillbillies
Veronica Lake, circa Sullivan’s Travels
Catherine Deneuve, whenever, wherever
Johnny Depp, circa Gilbert Grape (don’t judge me)
Trigger (don’t judge me)
Tuesday Weld, circa Dobie Gillis

Actually, if you can at least give me the first two,
I will handle the rest.

—Don Whittington

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