I would like to open a theater
in Hattiesburg, Mississippi called
the Satanic Communist Child Molesters’ 
Democratic Dramatic Workshop and Repertory Theater,
the SCCMDDWRT (pronounced “suck-em-diddy-wart”)
which features only classical plays and modern
masterpieces except for every now and then
when a three act piece called Guys Farting in Wet Mud
by Tony Kushner will run for five weeks or so.
This is something I have strived to achieve since I was a toddler
but our close-minded, puritanical society has blocked me
every step of the way ever since my first three million
dollar genius grant. Yet, I will prevail.
The state of Misissippi and the city of Hattiesburg
cannot stop me. Sooner or later my next round of funding
will come through. In the meantime I will sit here in the
mud behind my palatial home practicing my *bloort* calls.
—Don Whittington

3 thoughts on “Suck-em-diddy-wart

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s