What is life?
What is truth?
Does anybody know what time it really is?
I disapprove of the way other people poop.
On the other hand you have different fingers.
Does God love me?
I used to have such promise, but now I have a cold.
The fool is the analog of the sage, and parsley and thyme are pissed off about it.
We have less need for a mechanism to cut spending, than for one to cut stupidity.
Dope dealers should stop short of shipping a “record amount” next time.
Everybody has something they want blown out of proportion.
Does the universe swing to a woman’s hips? Really?
What is a man? What is a woman? Which do I prefer?
To be old and to be cool is kind of unexpected.
The new American art form/career: Being a person of interest.
If the government taps my phone, can I drink from it?
Here is what I think, old man: More of these people should be chastised.
I suspect life would have been better had Ennio Morricone scored my bathroom breaks.
And that was the year your grandmother and I moved to Antarctica to grow tobacco.